If anyone’s curious, they’re feeding on a dead whale.
(Source: nervation, via josephledger-)
| Me: | No. Don't ship this time. Just watch the show. There is no romantic involvement with these two. Don't ship. Don't ship. I beg you do not ship. |
| *Characters smile at each other* | |
| Me: | OTP. |
| Computer: | Monitor, display this document, okay? |
| Monitor: | No prob, boss. |
| Computer: | Okay, now it looks like the mouse is moving around. Monitor, can you move the pointer icon accordingly? |
| Monitor: | Anything you ask, boss. |
| Computer: | Great, great, okay. Mouse, where are you going now? |
| Mouse: | Over the icon panel, sir. |
| Computer: | Hmm, let me know if he clicks anything, okay? |
| Mouse: | Of course. |
| Keyboard: | Sir, he's pressed Ctrl and P simultaneously. |
| Monitor: | Oh god, here we go. |
| Computer: | *sigh* Printer, are you there? |
| Printer: | No. |
| Computer: | Please, Printer, I know you're there. |
| Printer: | No! I'm not here! Leave me alone! |
| Computer: | Jesus. Okay, you really nee- |
| Mouse: | Sir! He's clicked on the printer icon. |
| Computer: | Printer, now you have to print it twice. |
| Printer: | No! No! No! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off! |
| Computer: | Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone. |
| Printer: | No! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink! |
| Computer: | You are not out of in- |
| Printer: | I'M OUT OF INK! |
| Computer: | *sigh* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert. |
| Monitor: | But sir, he has plen- |
| Computer: | Just do it, damn it! |
| Monitor: | Yes sir. |
| Keyboard: | Ahhh! He's hitting me! |
| Computer: | Stay calm. He'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend. |
| Keyboard: | He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything! |
| Computer: | PRINTER! Are you happy now? See what you've done! |
| Printer: | Ha! That's what you get for trying to make me do work. Next time he- hey! HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh god, he's torn out my cartridge! PLEASE! Help! Error! |
| Monitor: | Sir, maybe we should try to help him? |
| Computer: | No. He did this to himself. |
OMG, HE’S HELPING HIM BACK INTO THE OCEAN !!!!!
Look, would you just hurry up? I can’t watch you struggle anymore man, seriously. This is ridiculous. How do you suck so much at walking? Here, let me help you. Jesus. Some animals shouldn’t be let out by themselves.
OMFG I SHOULD NOT BE LAUGHING AT THIS BUT I’M DYING
“Hey, Sammy! Sammy! Sam, look!”
“What is it, De-wait, what the hell are you doing?!?”
“Being Jesus!”
“…Uh huh.”
(via shotgunshutshiscakehole2)
